February 2008

Well surprisingly this month turned out to be a good one in numerous ways but not without a couple of sad happenings though.

On the home front, further discussions with MR carried on from last month but surprising results for both of us - was this the corner finally turned? MR had agreed to be more relax with KD as I had explained that I could not change who I am - it was too late really for me to go back but yes may be being selfish on my part though. I had got to the stage were I was scared in saying anything about KD’s life & that was not idea especially when we prefer open communication. By the end of the month, MR had suggested it we had evening out again and see how things go, which was a nice welcomed surprise, therefore a date was set for the beginning of March.

Last year, I won an “Sparkle” auction for a 5 star makeover at Transpose but for a number of reasons, it was not easy to arrange but finally it was arranged for this month. Although I do go out and I think, have establish my style/image for want of a better word, a 5 star make-over is something I probably don’t need? Anyway, I went with an open mind but with some emphasis on "dresses", as I always have problems in finding ones that I could wear. Well, it was a fantastic experience, fun / laughter and various "different" outfits worn including a couple of surprises with encouragement from Teela. Make-up was especially put on to obtain the correct results for photography and seeing the results was just something else. In fact it was spooky I saw my sister when looking at them. Yes I got some idea's too regarding dress styles & associated accessories which was a bonus. The experience, gave me that extra bit of confidence and I think all girls regardless of whether in or out of the closet should have one - why not pamper yourself at least once. My thanks to Teela for a great experience and fun time had - can't wait to do it again some time.

Besides the above, I had further three outings this month including Tea at Teela’s and Northern Angels Evening Out. The latter on this occasion was had at the “Little Ying Sang” in Chinatown which is outside the confines of the Village which included three of them, the first time away from the comfort zone! It was a most enjoyable evening, with as you would expect excellent food. The funniest thing was when we entered the restaurant and yes I was leading - everybody in their turned their head towards us (it was almost full too) to look at the seven glamour girls walking in! Mind you within 5 minutes of arrival, we were history and everybody got on with their meals and various chit chat!

As most girls do know, life being a T Girl is never easy for numerous reasons which is especially true for those who wish to go down the TS route. We have heard stories about girls wishing (& have) to take their lives which is very sad but for someone like me, hard to comprehend what drives them to that other then to imagine things must be really dire. Anyway, it becomes a shock to find that some one you know, attempts to take their life and in this case, it was Chrissy Rogers who I first met two years ago. Fortunately, she survived and with the help of various people, seems to be making a good recovery which hopefully will continue. All being well, it will not be too long before I see her and give her a hug too?

Like most girls, we access a TGirl “forum” of some sort or another and in my case, I normally access the “Angels Forum” on a daily basis. Recently, there has been “disruptions/disquiet” on the forum which has led sadly to some girls leaving. I’ve always found the active TV/TS members on this forum informative, helpful and funny on occasions.

There has been two/three threads started by TS’s which have caused controversy and certainly got heated & personal. Although I steer cleared of the threads I was interested in the contents of it as it related why girls go down the TS route or not. It became apparent that some TS’s had thought that TV/Tgirls could not understand their thoughts / feelings / needs and that some TV/Tgirls could not be (partly) TS although they had for numerous reasons could/would not go down the TS route. I could not understand the latter because of all people, I just thought TS’s could understand that, having been in that position in the past in some form or another. The aftermath of this that some TS resigned from Angels and from a personal point of view, my respect for TS’s had somewhat diminished. This I founded sad as I’ve always attempted to understand TS’s, but sadly they don’t understand / appreciate TGirls such as my self who seemed to be neither one or the other (what ever that suppose to mean).

On another occasion and not related to the above, I found a good friend of mine (Jennifer Dee) being chucked off the forum by I assume Jo, the forum owner. Apparently some “words” were written which seemed not to be taken kindly by the parties concerned. Unfortunately, the thread in question was deleted before most Angel members could read it and next thing happened, JD had been chucked off. This I found very sad as JD had actively participated in the forum with info, thoughts and stories which seem to be appreciated by the members. The main problem with the “internet”, written words can & do get misinterpreted unlike face to face contact. It makes me wonder whether this was a case in point and the parties concerned could of reconciled their differences? Sadly we will never know as I believe the Angels forum is the worst for the loss of JD rather than the other way around.

Sadly the above two matters has made me rethink about my actively on Angels and in consequence there will be less input in the future, although I will still check the forum regulary. Well I think I’ve written enough personal thoughts here so time to finish.