When I originally wrote the June entry, KD matters were in turmoil for numerous reasons but as with most things in life, things calm down and different perspective’s arrive. This was no exception but it comes back to the “going round in circles” thoughts were things can be good, bad or in different and just depends were in the circle you are at any particular time. In that instance, we were in the indifferent / bad period and I suppose it was a case of abiding time for the good or better times to arrive. Well it did but unexpected never the less.
There was no obvious sign this was going to happen as within myself I felt I was going down a slippery slop to -- well I had no idea but really could not see any real light at the end of the long tunnel. However, unexpected and sudden, there seem to a change of attitude / different thoughts by M.R. towards KD issues. I suppose the best of putting it was suddenly it did not matter anymore and MR was prepared to let me do what I wanted. What I wanted, I’m not sure what that is but certainly I just needed “clear air” to let me decide when I wanted to be KD and most all going out when I wanted. However, saying that, I still had too and quite rightly give due consideration to home & family matters as they arise - strange it may seem I have no problem with that and happy to accept it too. But in between moments I just wanted the opportunity to decide what I wanted to do and be the person I wish to be, I.E. Kay Denise.
Since then, things have been much much better between MR & myself and most KD things are accepted as routine in some ways. I suppose the best way of putting it, is in a dog lead sense! 1) A tight lead, 2) A loose lead and 3) No lead & complete freedom! As things stand it seems to be the “Loose Lead” category and one that seems to work. Hopefully this continues.
What has also had influence has been changes at home which included the last family member finally leaving home which meant for the first since the early 80’s we have no children living at home. Mmmm just the two of us. I suppose, if fact I know that has made a difference between “tensions” have now gone. However, as with all parents, they are always welcome to visit us as & when they wish too, but there is still problems encounted as I got to find out later! LOL
There was no obvious sign this was going to happen as within myself I felt I was going down a slippery slop to -- well I had no idea but really could not see any real light at the end of the long tunnel. However, unexpected and sudden, there seem to a change of attitude / different thoughts by M.R. towards KD issues. I suppose the best of putting it was suddenly it did not matter anymore and MR was prepared to let me do what I wanted. What I wanted, I’m not sure what that is but certainly I just needed “clear air” to let me decide when I wanted to be KD and most all going out when I wanted. However, saying that, I still had too and quite rightly give due consideration to home & family matters as they arise - strange it may seem I have no problem with that and happy to accept it too. But in between moments I just wanted the opportunity to decide what I wanted to do and be the person I wish to be, I.E. Kay Denise.
Since then, things have been much much better between MR & myself and most KD things are accepted as routine in some ways. I suppose the best way of putting it, is in a dog lead sense! 1) A tight lead, 2) A loose lead and 3) No lead & complete freedom! As things stand it seems to be the “Loose Lead” category and one that seems to work. Hopefully this continues.
What has also had influence has been changes at home which included the last family member finally leaving home which meant for the first since the early 80’s we have no children living at home. Mmmm just the two of us. I suppose, if fact I know that has made a difference between “tensions” have now gone. However, as with all parents, they are always welcome to visit us as & when they wish too, but there is still problems encounted as I got to find out later! LOL
During this time, I’ve manage to get out almost on a weekly occasion but kept it simple, and just visited the bigger closet, namely the Village in Manchester. However, in the light of things changing for the better, I will leave going further a field until early October. More of this in the next entry.
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