The following was written in early June but since then things have changed again but I still thought to post it anyway as it was relevant at the time.
Sitting here watching the first game of the World Cup gives me time to write another entry on my blog. I was hoping since my last entry that matters would improve, not just mentally but may be ice breaking with MR. Sadly this has not been the case, in some ways, it has got worst. What I thought and written in my last entry still remains valid now so I wont repeat it.
MR has attempted to make her thoughts & feelings known about KD by her usual method of communication, mobile phone “text” but my response has been limited to say the least. So much so, I tend not to respond directly to the points / questions raised. However, MR had kindly informed that she had joined the Angels Forum “Partners” group to seek assistance and support. Apparently she had received “positive” vibes and I was pleased that she had done this in attempt to understand the situation we find ourselves in. Hopefully this will continue but interestingly and totally unrelated, I’ve decided not to bother with the forum again - sadly the Angels Forum has had its day and now become the domain of the same few which has killed the purpose/origins of the forum. Anyway I digress!
Over the last 10 days or so, my brain has been a jumble of shredded paper and emotionally very low - there has been no sense or reasoning going on and I needed to talk to some one. I decided to bite the bullet and rang a known TG counsellor to arrange a session with her, fortunately manage to get an appointment and this was on Wednesday just gone. MR & I had been to see this TG counsellor together on two occasions but sadly events overtook us which prevented further sessions. On this occasion decided to arrive as KD, at least the counsellor would see the real me. Overall the 2 hour session went well with couple of things that did come out of it. The counsellor had suggested I’m not TS (which was what I thought but needed another voice to tell me that) but more importantly, concluded where as I had “control” when being KD, in the remainder of my life I had none what so ever which was conflicting with what I wanted. The problem here, is how we go about to attempt to resolve this issue - mmmm no easy answers there then. One thing that was highlighted in the session was much emphasis on MR and it was obvious that she needed help probably more than me! May be this is the crux of the matter especially about me being KD?
Sitting here watching the first game of the World Cup gives me time to write another entry on my blog. I was hoping since my last entry that matters would improve, not just mentally but may be ice breaking with MR. Sadly this has not been the case, in some ways, it has got worst. What I thought and written in my last entry still remains valid now so I wont repeat it.
MR has attempted to make her thoughts & feelings known about KD by her usual method of communication, mobile phone “text” but my response has been limited to say the least. So much so, I tend not to respond directly to the points / questions raised. However, MR had kindly informed that she had joined the Angels Forum “Partners” group to seek assistance and support. Apparently she had received “positive” vibes and I was pleased that she had done this in attempt to understand the situation we find ourselves in. Hopefully this will continue but interestingly and totally unrelated, I’ve decided not to bother with the forum again - sadly the Angels Forum has had its day and now become the domain of the same few which has killed the purpose/origins of the forum. Anyway I digress!
Over the last 10 days or so, my brain has been a jumble of shredded paper and emotionally very low - there has been no sense or reasoning going on and I needed to talk to some one. I decided to bite the bullet and rang a known TG counsellor to arrange a session with her, fortunately manage to get an appointment and this was on Wednesday just gone. MR & I had been to see this TG counsellor together on two occasions but sadly events overtook us which prevented further sessions. On this occasion decided to arrive as KD, at least the counsellor would see the real me. Overall the 2 hour session went well with couple of things that did come out of it. The counsellor had suggested I’m not TS (which was what I thought but needed another voice to tell me that) but more importantly, concluded where as I had “control” when being KD, in the remainder of my life I had none what so ever which was conflicting with what I wanted. The problem here, is how we go about to attempt to resolve this issue - mmmm no easy answers there then. One thing that was highlighted in the session was much emphasis on MR and it was obvious that she needed help probably more than me! May be this is the crux of the matter especially about me being KD?
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