Well I’m writing this on Boxing Day and feel so lonely! Interestingly its now’t to do with KD but affects elsewhere will have an impact on my future activities - will there be any? Unfortunately regarding what has happened during the course of the year where there has been many good moments with MR, my Christmas came tumbling down on Christmas Eve afternoon where a letter arrived in the post which the contents became a quite a shock and unable to figure out why!
Even after making a phone call, it was all very strange and unable to come up with any reasons. Prior to that everything was in place to have a sure footing for our foreseeable future. Mentioning this to MR, she just suggested let us get Xmas out of the way and deal with it then. Alas I’m not that type of person and not to find some explanation(s) for what has been going on. Even racking my brain, nothing was making sense! Later on I needed to log on to the internet to make some enquiries which I did. Yes I found some answers but not what was I expecting or wishing to believe thinking that lighting don’t strike twice. During this time MR had disappeared thinking she went upstairs but actually went out instead! This led me to believe what I did not want to believe has actually happened which later confirmed by MR. For the second time in 4 years, she had deceived, lied and led me up the garden path about a particular financial matter which I thought after the first time round, resolved it and for gave her for her indiscretion. What made this all more galling, we have had the benefit of unexpected funds which we have had put to good use with some spare for other things. As we all know, this don’t last for ever and now was that occasion. However, I had things in place to make sure we were ok for the future and this was after with her full knowledge of making a short term major financial commitment! Yet in all this time over the last couple of years, there has been opportunities to let the cat out of the bag and at least settle the matter! But oh no, MR continuing to play the hiding game, clearly thinking I wont find out again. All I got from MR, was sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry but no explanations for why, why and why? Am I really that bad as a person - the mind boggles but I do really question myself!
Over the Christmas weekend, I’ve hardly spoken to MR as I just cannot comprehend this situation. So many questions but no answers. Even I had thoughts, is this her way at getting back at me for deceit in keeping KD from her? I don’t think so but this what happens when you mind is not thinking straight! I’ve shed a few tears this weekend to say the least.
Looking at the immediate future, I don’t see one as currently my maths is making 1 plus 1 equals 7 or whatever figure you wish to make - one thing for certain it don’t add up or balance the books now! Im just hoping something will turn up later on this week, but what happens if it don’t - I just don’t wish to think about it!! Why MR, why, as we don’t deserved this after nearly 38 years together and you have never been wanting for anything either, yet her stupidity now jeopardises everything we have! WHY? I really need to talk to someone even just to listen to my thoughts and feelings!
Even after making a phone call, it was all very strange and unable to come up with any reasons. Prior to that everything was in place to have a sure footing for our foreseeable future. Mentioning this to MR, she just suggested let us get Xmas out of the way and deal with it then. Alas I’m not that type of person and not to find some explanation(s) for what has been going on. Even racking my brain, nothing was making sense! Later on I needed to log on to the internet to make some enquiries which I did. Yes I found some answers but not what was I expecting or wishing to believe thinking that lighting don’t strike twice. During this time MR had disappeared thinking she went upstairs but actually went out instead! This led me to believe what I did not want to believe has actually happened which later confirmed by MR. For the second time in 4 years, she had deceived, lied and led me up the garden path about a particular financial matter which I thought after the first time round, resolved it and for gave her for her indiscretion. What made this all more galling, we have had the benefit of unexpected funds which we have had put to good use with some spare for other things. As we all know, this don’t last for ever and now was that occasion. However, I had things in place to make sure we were ok for the future and this was after with her full knowledge of making a short term major financial commitment! Yet in all this time over the last couple of years, there has been opportunities to let the cat out of the bag and at least settle the matter! But oh no, MR continuing to play the hiding game, clearly thinking I wont find out again. All I got from MR, was sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry but no explanations for why, why and why? Am I really that bad as a person - the mind boggles but I do really question myself!
Over the Christmas weekend, I’ve hardly spoken to MR as I just cannot comprehend this situation. So many questions but no answers. Even I had thoughts, is this her way at getting back at me for deceit in keeping KD from her? I don’t think so but this what happens when you mind is not thinking straight! I’ve shed a few tears this weekend to say the least.
Looking at the immediate future, I don’t see one as currently my maths is making 1 plus 1 equals 7 or whatever figure you wish to make - one thing for certain it don’t add up or balance the books now! Im just hoping something will turn up later on this week, but what happens if it don’t - I just don’t wish to think about it!! Why MR, why, as we don’t deserved this after nearly 38 years together and you have never been wanting for anything either, yet her stupidity now jeopardises everything we have! WHY? I really need to talk to someone even just to listen to my thoughts and feelings!
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