April 2009 - Getting on with life & all.

It is now over two weeks since our traumatic experience and little by little, normality is now returning. However, MR & I have both find especially being on our own, that we find ourselves a little jumpy and also being nervous of youths etc who dressed in hoodie type appearance. It should not be like that but it makes you like that - a very sad reflection of today’s society. There has been police news on this experience which surprise us but just suffice to say that “people” have been arrested in connection with another crime and there is a link to our crime. In the meantime, dealing with the insurance is never easy but the worst thing is the time it takes to get things moving - currently we are looking towards the end of April before things will be resolved! How frustrating! Fortunately for MR & I, we have a number of events over the next few months to look forward too, which I’m sure is keeping us “sane” and a better chance of putting this experience behind us. Before I move on, may I thank those girls who have contacted me and offered their thoughts & wishes.

So back to KD matters. Well with what has been happening recently, there has really been no chance to get out but other matters have risen between MR & I, some of which is of my doing. Over a year ago, I had made the decision to have IPL to attempt to solve my shadow area being of a dark complexion which as some girls realise is a little hindrance when attempting to cover up. Although I make a good job when covering up, I’m still conscious of this while out & about and it does play tricks on your mind. If nothing else, this is sure way of getting sussed by joe public which does not do the confidence any good what so ever. Anyway, I have advised MR about this when I made this decision but because of various personal factors in that time, it has been put on hold. So recently I visited a Chester based clinic for a consultation and we agreed a provisional timetable of IPL treatment. However, I had not informed MR of this as I wanted to wait to tell her when my first appointment was already made. Alas MR found out by accident (yes my fault) and confirmed what I was doing. MR could not understand why I wanted to do this and quite rightly I suppose commented “what is next on the agenda” and I am just being vain? The latter comment I cannot understand because I am not vain even as KD. As for other things that I am apparently want to do is in fact don’t exist to be honest as the IPL treatment is the only thing I wish to do. Generally speaking I’m happy as I am and also with the compromises I made to MR about “bob’s” appearance. From MR’s point of view, she is concerned & worried, but I do attempt to allay her fears but clearly I am not been convincing enough. So I will just have to keep reassuring her from time to time and hopefully in time, she may be a little more tolerant & forgiving?

The “vain” comment was I thought a little unkind by MR but it got me thinking, was I really that, but I had not realise it or attempting to ignore it? So I ask my work colleague LA who did not agree or disagree with the comment. No help I know but she did say this to me, I do have a lot of (nice) clothes, have the best make-up amongst other things so therefore it is possible! Mmmm interesting but I then sought words of wisdom from my counsellor, who suggested that a lot of T-Girls are “narcistic” and advised me to look it up in the dictionary, but not to be offended by the description of the word. Well girls if you wish to know what it means, look it up but I know for definite I am not “narcistic” but there are girls who are though!

MR & I also had another counsellor session which was OK, but alas half of the session was taken up discussing our recent traumatic experience which was not suppose to be about, as KD is suppose to be issue. Anyway, for MR especially, her thoughts on this issue did matter and if that helped her, then that is of some benefit. As for KD matters, well nothing was agreed or otherwise but an evening out in the future for the three of us (yes including the counsellor and it was her suggestion too!!) may assist MR in the way she feels. So we agreed to do this before we have another session. This caught both of us by surprise but it will give the counsellor an opportunity to see what KD is like for real and how MR copes / reacts while out & about again (especially in the company of other T-Girls).

I had a couple of days ago manage to get out again with a couple of friends but I will write about this adventure in my next posting but just say it was an excellent enjoyable outing.