April 2009 - "Ouch", upset and a dog!

After a fantastic night out with two good friends, it was back to the “bob” everyday world were the next few days, KD matters came to the fore again especially with MR. However, looking back on my night out, it had left me with a glowing feeling within myself and life was really good even allowing for recent traumatic events. I had also realise and Jane wont mind me saying this, that I had seen the last of Jane as her alter ego, and from almost now on, Jane would be living fulltime as the person she wishes to be. I have really no idea how she really feels inside but it must be one of happiness although she realises this is just the beginning of her new life. I am really pleased for her and I do look forward in continuing our warm friendship for the foreseeable future.

By now, I had arranged my first IPL appointment which just left me to tell MR but not knowing when was the best time to tell her, as I knew she was not pleased with me anyway. Mmmmm I don’t like it when I’m in this position as this leaves me frightened but then again, who’s fault is that anyway! Eventually, I told MR but the next couple of days and after the session, things were not exactly rosy! As for my first session, well yes it was “ouch”, made worst by the fact my shadow covers a large part of which face including most of neck too! Other girls had warned me of this but until you had it, you don’t have any idea! Well I survived and with the exception of a tinkling feeling (even now), my face seems to OK but it is early days in relation to see if there is any hair reduction! One thing for sure, shaving is just a little sensitive at the moment! LOL! Anyway, now look forward to my next session - mmmm can’t wait to have all the sessions completed just from the “ouch” point of view!

Later on the same day, I collected MR from work as normal but I had sense that things were not well at all. Sort of the cold treatment by MR although I was attempting to make normal conversation. In the end I gave up and just waited for the bullet to hit me! Without going into detail, things did come to a head and various thoughts & discussion was had. Without any doubt, I had hurt MR in what I had done but this was something I wanted otherwise KD could never be the person I want to be on the occasions I go out. In away I don’t fully understand myself, so what chance has MR got? Eventually, we made up but I’m not sure what damage has been caused, only time will tell but it seems that MR has decided to stay out and let me get on with it. Strange it may seem, the IPL treatment (assuming it is successful) is the last piece of the jigsaw in my outward appearance which just leaves me to get on with my limited outings with new & existing friends. In the circumstances, hopefully in time, MR may eventually realise this but I will just have to wait & see.

Finally, during these few days, we had been shopping and MR has a fetish for Radley handbags and another one has been added to her collection! While in the same shop, MR bought me as a birthday treat, a nice pink Radley handbag, this was a lovely surprise and very much appreciated. Clearly some things about KD are OK with MR but others not so but hopefully we will find a compromise way forward in order to break our “circle”.

For the next 10 days or so, KD will be very much in the background as MR & I are now off on a welcomed break - this hopefully will bring things back into perspective & some relief too?